Children with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) make for some of the most misunderstood and mistreated (not medically) students. There is so much that goes in to this mental disorder; many teachers and parents are simply uneducated or have not experienced the struggles that come with having ADHD or teaching/parenting someone with ADHD. Many do not know that ADHD is often coupled with anxiety and/or depression.
Many children and parents of children with learning disabilities or mental disorders are approached with very judgmental comments and stares. It breaks my heart to hear the judgment. Here are five concepts to know about ADHD and anxiety:
ADHD is a mental disorder – a neurological dysfunction – it is not a choice
ADHD behaviors are often thought to be a choice of the child and attempted to be forced out of them through punitive measures versus connection and understanding. The brain depends on a large communication system which includes neurotransmitters – communicators between the brain and the rest of the body. Three neurotransmitters that are heavily affected in the ADHD brain are Dopamine, Norepinephrine, and Serotonin.
Dopamine impacts movement, mood, motivation, and attention. Norepinephrine can function as a hormone or neurotransmitter. If functioning as a hormone, Norepinephrine can affect attention. Serotonin affects mood, social behavior, sleep, and memory. [1]
Think of Serotonin and Dopamine as gas gauges in the brain. One may be full and the other empty. If these two neurotransmitters are not sending information appropriately, many every day behaviors and functions are severely affected. One is operating at full force, while the other may be a little more mild, thereby showcasing ADHD behaviors.
ADHD creates difficulty with attention management as a whole [2]
Mark Bertin, MD describes three situations that may arise with ADHD in his book Mindful Parenting for ADHD: (1) Hyperfocusing on what seems fun and cognitively effortless; (2) Being challenged by distracting environments; (3) Having difficulty transitioning away from activities.
Bertin describes how many children with ADHD are viewed as having selective attention – meaning they choose when to pay attention – when in reality it is virtually impossible for them to focus when mentally challenged. ADHD children lose details when given multi-step directions or spoken to when they are otherwise engaged in something less mentally challenging and enjoyable – a trait often viewed as bad behavior. Your request will not register unless the child’s full attention has been attained. When mentally stressed they may shut down, feel overwhelmed, or act out.
“An ADHD brain is powerful, intelligent, and very capable, but it’s not able to filter the ‘noise’ from the relevant information coming in. A brain with ADHD is like a beautiful, high-powered, high performing sports car, but without any brakes” [3]. Many with ADHD actually have extraordinary IQ’s, but with distractions and noise, behavior and academic performance are heavily affected.
Emotional management does not come easy
Because high stress situations or activities that require full mental capabilities are very daunting for children with ADHD, they may be quick to anger, give up, or get frustrated or upset. These behaviors are often coupled with an ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) diagnosis – often unnecessary. Children and parents of ADHD children begin to hear statements such as: Why won’t he just listen? I don’t understand why she has to get so angry so quickly. No child should talk or scream to an adult that way. The reality of this is that emotional regulation is difficult for all, but for the ADHD brain the emotions are even harder to control and are often met with ridicule and embarrassment. “This can lead to excuses, more anger, or shutting down, escalating the behavioral stakes” [2]. Not only do the parents get hit pretty hard with those statements, because they are trying their best to understand and help their child; but the children begin to take those statements as they are a problem, versus their brain just works differently (and that’s not a bad thing).
The inability to regulate emotions may lead to more anxious thoughts
When the ADHD brain becomes overwhelmed with stimuli and struggles with focusing, completing tasks, and controlling impulsive behaviors or emotional reactions, a pathway to anxiety is often created. A detrimental amount of negative and/or anxious thoughts may begin to flood the brain. Your child may begin to say things like: I’m just a mean boy/girl. I’m not smart enough. I’ll never be able to do that. These thoughts did not just appear – rather they have manifested themselves in to the identity of the child through various environmental situations and the child’s own frustration and struggle with his/her brain. The child has not yet been taught that his/her brain is a superpower or how to use it for good. When your child becomes overwhelmed with negative or anxious thoughts here are some symptoms of anxiety to look for [4]:
- sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep)
- increased irritability
- argumentative
- withdraws from peers
- school refusal
- clowning around in school
- hair twirling, skin picking, or other anxious behaviors.
ADHD children begin to recognize their behaviors are different from others as they get older – they know their brains work differently from their peers. Often times they become frustrated because they can’t focus like their peers. ADHD children are hard critics on themselves, which often times leads to these anxious thoughts. Their behaviors may not have been met with love and compassion, because they are misunderstood outward behaviors and often viewed has problems versus a need first.
Environmental factors play a huge role in behaviors and mindset
ADHD has been linked to genetics; however, environmental factors play just as big a role: classroom sizes, family unit, parenting styles, and academic accommodations, just to name a few. Keeping these factors in mind when applying strategies and working on ways to help your ADHD child will provide opportunities for success. It is important for all adults – parents, teachers, and any other essential adults – to attempt to be on the same page as much as possible, setting boundaries, rules, and routines with the child. Remaining calm and caring in tough situations, helps children learn beneficial strategies to calm their troublesome behaviors and overwhelming thoughts. Our own way of being – parenting – makes a new style difficult, but it is imperative to work together for the benefit of the child.
What can you do to help?
There is so much to learn about ADHD and how it affects the brain. My findings come from reliable resources and personal experiences and observations. There is no tried-and-true way to helping a child with ADHD, but research shows routines, connection, and positive discipline are key strategies to helping the ADHD brain attain success. People who suffer from ADHD and their parents already judge themselves pretty harshly – outside comments and judgments make it worse. My personal suggestions to anyone wondering how to help a child with ADHD or the parent are:
- Resist the urge to question the outward behaviors in the moment they occur or stare in judgement
- Resist comments that may put the child or the parenting skills to shame
- Educate yourself in child development and the exceptional brain
- Assist the child by getting down to his/her level and attaining his/her focus instead of shouting commands from across a room
- Avoid bringing public attention to the child’s behaviors (i.e. calling the child out in the front of the class for things not done right or well)
- Avoid bringing light to everything the child does wrong – instead over-exaggerate his/her accomplishments and be impressed by his/her extraordinary talents
- LOVE, SMILE, LAUGH, SHARE VICTORIES, and above all BE KIND.
[1] Austin, Margaret V. “ADHD: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Neurotransmitter Changes with ADHD.” Gulf Bend MHMR Center. Accessed December 8, 2019. https://www.gulfbend.org/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=13861.
[2] Bertin, Mark. Mindful Parenting for ADHD: A Guide to Cultivating Calm, Reducing Stress & Helping Children Thrive. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.; Oakland, CA. 2015.
[3] Young, Karen. “Anxiety or ADHD? Why They Sometimes Look the Same and How to Tell the Difference.” Hey Sigmund. Accessed December 8, 2019. https://www.heysigmund.com/anxiety-and-adhd/
[4] Hurley, Katie. “ADHD & Anxiety in Children.” Remedy Health Media, LLC. Accessed December 8, 2019. https://psycom.net/adhd-children-anxiety.